Disclaimer : I have huge respect for women who juggle their career and personal life so effeciently and a big big salute to all those women who are shining bright in their respective fields and passion.
This post is just my point of view/my take on being a Homemaker in this fast forward generation. I might be wrong but cant stop myself from documenting this here in my blog.
Don’t know where to start what to write.. But determined to share my thoughts that keep running in my head after watching this Tumhari Sulu movie and as well as aftee having closely observed homemaker lives of my closest friends. Yeah I know its too late but just got time to catchup this movie in Amazon Prime and being a VB fan I am totally in awe with her screen presence and acting. Being a house wife myself this movie triggered various emotions in me.
I was working in an IT organization when I quit my job a month before marriage in 2009 . That was my personal decision and nobody forced me to do that. I was only 24 at that time and to be honest I was never someone who constantly thinks about future, never planned much on how to succeed in my career, wasnt much interested in higher studies too. A year passed by so quickly and I became pregnant in 2010. Unfortunately it ended in miscarriage and there began the darkest phase in my life. My mind was only thinking about having a baby and NOTHING else. Though it will be difficult for others to understand it is the truth and I totally lost interest in grooming myself to restart my career. Had attended couple of interviews on and off. I failed in them too. Shiva tried so so hard to get me out of this wall that I built around myself and made me register Diploma in Testing course in NIIT in a hope that I would do something else that would keep my mind busy and occupied. It was a 6 month course and though i gave my 100% in learning new stuff, at the back of my mind I kept thinking only about baby. In the meantime we would attend family events, weddings,friend’s kids birthday parties etc etc.. That one question people kept asking me “Why did you quit your job?” and then some people would ask “How do you pass time”? “Arent you bored of being in the house all the time”? etc
Those questions would hurt me so much and I keep thinking why are they so concerned on what should I do in my life. It also got me thinking that if a women chose to be at home for her own reasons does that mean she is less respectable than who are working? There are women who choose to stay at home due to their family circumstances – taking care of ailing parents or inlaws, kids with special needs, undergoing any fertility related treatment, not in a proper mental state to have a full fledged career and much more unexplainable reasons. That doesnt mean they are no less than others.
Movie like Tumhari Sulu or How old are you? (36 vayadhinile in Tamil) keeps reiteraring the fact that every women especially housewives should do something that larger than life and prove it to others that they are no less. It is obviously empowering, motivating and all that but do all housewives get that opportunity in real life?? Real life is not a Suryavamsam movie where you can become a District Collector in one song.. There are so many who are doing mundane things at home and yet trying to be content and happier in their own ways.
I am someone who doesnt have a proper hobby or a standout talent. If this blog was not created then I am too among those lakhs and lakhs of homemakers whose routine is making sure everything runs well in the family, who dont have much time to do something for themselves. Though it sound simple it isnt easier to keep doing the same thing day in and day out.
The outside world keep triggering the housewives with constant questions like “find your biggest strength” or “find something that you are passionate about” and all that fancy quotes that we see everywhere. If real life keeps throwing benchmarks and competitions, we have social media in other hand which only increases stress and anxiety if not consumed in the right sense. Ignore the people here who only care about numbers and who are fake.
The bottom line of this post is it to tell my dear homemakers it is ABSOLUTELY OK to NOT have a fulltime career or passion that yields money or a hobby to satisfy your soul.It is OK if you don’t have the financial support to take a destination holiday and learn about life.
Live the moment. Be kind, Be contended. We cant stop people from asking unneccsary questions & unnecessary comparisons. Lets make sure the outside world madness doesnt make us feel less for even on second. Also when life gives you an opportunity to do something that you love then go ahead and do it without hesitation. My humble request is lets not force ourselves into doing something just because someone else is doing it 🙂 Facing challenges and excelling in it always gives a high, happiness but lets not succumb to the pressure of society and do something way out of our comfort zone, spoiling our mental health and just for the sake of doing it.
